That's what's in store if Jay Winik continues his war on the English language in The Great Upheaval. The man apparently took a vow to leave no noun or verb unmodified. This combines with his unholy love of the passive voice and devotion to subjecting everything to the metaphor treatment to create a mess.
It could, however, make an awesome drinking game.
On the bright side, Derek Wilson finally has some competition for most overwritten non-fiction. I didn't think anyone could top Wilson's stunning performance in Charlemagne when came up with five nicknames for Jesus in one page topping it off with "the pale Gallilean." He was Semitic, he spent most of his life outdoors in a harsh, sun-drenched climate. How is it possible that Jesus was pale unless he was an albino?